My last entry was about how much my heart hurts because I had to deal with a selfish friend. I think it’s the age, that makes you realised what you need even when it comes to friendship. Importantly, you need common grounds, common terms, common understanding and supportive friends.
Today, I am writing, because again, I felt so angry. It has been months that I felt this angry. But just hours ago, and until now, I cannot cast the feeling aside. I am going to write about my strange workplace, bosses & colleague.
When I began my new job almost two years ago, I was the happiest person. Who isn’t? Because of the economic crisis, my business unit got closed down and I was let go. In three months I landed myself a good, well I thought a good prospective position as an assistant business analyst.
But 6 months into the job, after I had improved processes & gave beyond my scope, I was drained to bits by the business manager & analyst. I am always told to think and create something new. But when I did, it always got shot down by the ‘malefic’ business manager. He claimed to be waking up from his deep sleep with a lot of ideas or be dreaming or thinking about ideas and he will jot them down asap. At least Meryl Streep is a woman (they say women bosses are horrendous).
So I decided to moved to another department. But only after he claimed I was rude for trying to move without telling him first. (Long story short, I was poached by Manager X to assist him, then I got sick and went for a week’s medical leave, came back to work & things went awry). Thing is, Manager X approached business manager whilst I was on medical leave and then business manager thought I had been pursuing that position without his permission. Cue: I should have stayed, Manager X had showed me unprofessionalism there, and I was blinded not to sense it.
Oh well.. I successfully transferred after getting an earful. Neither here nor there was beneficial at that stage.
Now 6 months into the new job, I found myself in the same familiar situation. I got burnt. This time round – I am not (still) managed properly. I was told that I’ll be doing coordination tasks but that never happened. Instead of using my expertise, I was left to do a lot of administrative job. As I never was a clerk, I had troubles to cope. Silly? Because being a clerk/admin is easy? Not me. I am not born to handle things that are really troublesome or doing trivial tasks.
By the way – I am a technical professional. An engineer to be precise. (I went to that business unit because it enhances my technical knowledge to business point of view – not wasted, at least. Period)
So what happened today, I had tried to befriended my replacement. This guy who took over my spot at the business department. Even when I was training him, I sensed that he was queer.
What he did?
In the first few days at work, he texted me about his ex-gf. Ok I was being kind to hear his emotional issues. But I did not expect him to text that he was stalking his ex. He texted me word by word like this; “She didn’t seem to be looking too sick, as she claimed. Today she brought a new bag. Never see that bag before.” OMG. So I blocked him on Whatsapp immediately.
My phone went kaput. So when I changed for a new one, I didn’t know that his number got unblocked. I don’t know how that could happen. But it happened. And he started to text me again. Initially I believed he had changed but he hasn’t. He is still as weird and stupid. Well I WAS STUPID.
I had myself to blame, for trying to see some silver lining. I thought if I tried to be nice, I could gain a work buddy. But every time I tried to explain my work unhappiness, I get 10,000 times angrier. I really already had not many friends there, and I thought talking to him helped. But NO. NO NO NO NO!
Even writing this is not relieving my anger at this idiot! Oh God.. I know it’s not worth thinking over this matter but I think it’s the ultimatum. So I blocked him again, but I need to really do something so that it wont recur. Because I know tomorrow he will come by my desk, or we will cross path and I will feel like throwing the mug to his face.
So have you had the same experience as mine? If you did, what did you do to calm yourself down?